The Way We Are ?

Insight for a therapist I believe is always a useful tool. While I know I am an intuitive worker, I am not so sure that this intuition is insight. Rather I think I share with those I work with a deep understanding based on my experience and my willingness to understand and learn and of course a high regard and respect for the person in front of me. My skills are based enhanced by my experience of being a member of humanity and experiencing the human condition. I to feel every emotion in the spectrum, from elation to grief. I to suffer the same frailties, the same conditions that I see every day in my clients. The question I am often asked by other therapist is how can we offer the best of ourselves if we to are suffering. My question is how can we work well, and relate to others without having experienced a textured and full experience in life? I believe for me it is not my facade the same one that all therapists wear that makes me a good therapist it is my living wisdom that makes me most useful.

In understanding the sameness as well as the difference in our clients, I think it is useful to explore our own conditions, for instance, I like many others am guilty of hiding myself from others. What do I mean by this? I am a person who rather than allow people see my sense of true self, my abilities, my history, my frailties, my skills and talents I would rather hide them. I know this is hard to believe, when here I am writing for all to see :-) What I am prone to normally write about is not personal, it is only related to my profession, which I agree is a large part of identity but not all. This way of being open and sharing allows me and others to to only see what I feel safe revealing, I can share something that I believe I am good at, others can use this to define me, but I know that it does not demonstrate who I truly am.

When clients come to see you or me they can tell us what they want us to hear, or they tell us how experiences or others define them, or a version of themselves, they do not tell us who they are. This makes me consider, is it important to know who you are working with? Do you need to know the story or not? Maybe it is useful some of the time and not others, or do we miss something by making assumptions about who people are and therefor how people work? Is it important to know how they see the world, their understanding of it, their deepest darkest fears, frailties and conditions? Or is it more important to focus on what the person wants to achieve? How they see themselves in the future and not the past. The future Person!

If this story about the client that we are told is a half truth, layered in obscurities and illusion, who are we working with and what are we trying to achieve? Is it what the person says or something all together different. Do we need to decode just a little? Just some thoughts to consider in the ethos of working well with those we wish to achieve with, and while I am not sure that there is a answer, I do think it is useful to consider how we can best achieve with those we work with.